Making friends

Colin has been a little bit eager to make some friends.  I can't tell if we put the idea in his mind or not.    Either way, Tony and I have talked to him more recently about us helping him to make some friends his age.  He loves Evan!  And loves to play with him!  And likes to play with Evans friends too.

By this Evan had made friends.  Mostly with Ava.  But they were truly friends at this age, well at 2, really.  He would constantly talk about her and want to see her or send notes to her.  Colin hasn't actually made a friend that he gets excited to see.  So, we are helping him by having some boys his age over.

But, 2 funny stories about this...

At the library train this week he poked his head to look inside the engine.  He said "mom, there is a boy in there, maybe he will be my friend."

As he was biking down the street we went past Oliver's house (the new boy in the neighborhood he hope will soon be a friend).  He said "I have a dream to have silly putty and one of those rocket cars."  I said "Oliver might let you borrow it sometime." Colin said "yea, when I make him be my friend."

Summer time

Oh sweet family.  Busy summer on the road so far.  Since school got out on June 9th, we have only been home for 4 days.  That means 13 days not at home.  I am feeling a little homesick.  Just a busy stretch of work in Muskegon and our trip to Chicago and Neenah.  It's been fun.  The Chicago day was a favorite!  Work has been good, a little slow on the call shifts.  Which has been good for hanging with the boys.  I am thankful the they have mostly been with me during my work shifts.  But looking forward to some days at home this week!  Just to do our usual stuff!  To feel like a mom at home with kids on those carefree summer days!

3 things to be thankful for

1.  Laying in bed, looking over at the sweet sleeping baby
2.  Knowing Evan and Colin are cuddley and sleeping together in the tent in the basement
3.  Tony finishing up his online class tonight and thinking about how hard he worked and squeezed this endeavor into our busy life.

Exploring the world with hands and mouth

About 10 days ago, Nicholas started grabbing toys.  A couple days later, he was putting things in his mouth.  Just like that he is exploring the world.  Yesterday he learned to roll from back to belly and now practices it like he is proud of his new trick.  And he found his feet!  So much, so quick.

Mothers day

Tony worked 10:30-9:00 this weekend, which might have meant an exhausting weekend for me.  Well, it was exhausting, but in a good way.  I do feel tired most of the time.  I do feel that I can't keep up with everything.  I do get bothered by the constant needs of these boys.  But, I don't want those tired moments to stand out!  I don't want to look back at these sweet days and say "uh, that was exhausting".  I want to remember the sweet moments when I completely love these mom days.  Nicholas is the sweetest cuddliest baby.  He smiles, he laughs, he lets me smush his cheeks (my favorite thing).  He looks up at me like he is a real person now.  And melts my heart.  Colin is sure full of energy.  Sometimes I just want him to slow down and be less crazy.  But that is what I love about him.  His goofy loving personality.  He squeezes me so tight sometimes that he chokes me.  He tells me 'I love you' many times a day, including when he is sad (like when he bonked his head to tonight) or when he is a little in trouble (like when missed the toilet tonight and I was bothered that there was pee all over the floor).  Sure, just what I wanted to do was scrub the bathroom floor as I am trying to wind down 3 kids for the night.  But Colin's joy for life and his closeness to us are the best!  And Evan, well I just love having a smart, caring, creative 7 year old.  One who made me many Mother's Day crafts, including a 5 step geocache.  I love that we read hours of Harry Potter this weekend and that he helps his little brothers so much.  I want to capture these stages and memories and not the daily drag for being busy.  And I know that I have been busy commuting to work,  but I want the time at home to be my best days.  Being a mom is the best!

Back to work

Three weeks of work already in the books. It was a little hard to go back after being off with Nicholas.  I miss that baby when I am not with him.  But part of me knows that I want to work.  I really like my job and believe the sacrifice (travel time to Muskegon and time away from the family) will be worth it.  Sure, I constantly have thoughts like... Am I doing the right thing?  Will I regret my decisions?  I know these days of sweet little boys won't last forever, and that I will these days.  But I think I will miss the days regardless.  And when they aren't sweet little boys, and are grown up boys, I will be glad to have lived my life too.  To have lived my dreams and created a life that is bigger than being a mom.  I know this is the job I want.  The 3 years between graduating from Frontier and starting my CNM job, felt like something was missing.  I have an amazing life and have always thought of myself as lucky, but it was hard to have a dream that seemed like it wouldn't happen.  Glad to be given this chance.  I can't believe I have these sweet boys and can balance them with a part time midwife job.  Best of both worlds.  Even if I came from home my first all night call shift in tears because of exhaustion, worry, and missing that first night of baby snuggling, and that the drive to Muskegon is a challenge with an infant... I am content here for now.  Thankful.

sleep

How is he sleeping?

I get asked that most days by someone.  It is certainly a topic that encompasses the life of having newborn.  It is almost like asking about the weather.  It seems like the most logical small talk to have with someone with a new baby.

I actually think he is doing pretty well for 7 weeks.  Last night, he did two 2.5 hour sleeps to start off, then woke up about every hour after than to some soothing or pacifier.  I gave up on trying to have these little babies sleep by themselves after Evan.  The few couple months with Evan I would try so hard to get him into a deep sleep and then lay him down and cross my fingers he stayed happy, it didn't work more than it did.  And I was one tired and frustrated mom.  Now with Nicholas, I went into planning on letting him sleep wherever it was that him and I got the most sleep we could.  And that has usually been sleeping on my chest or cradled in my arm, or if he is really ready for a deep sleep lying on his belly.  I have broken many safe sleep rules.  But, I am much happier and less exhausted this time around.  Some nights I wish that he would just sleep calmly in his own so I can have my space and a good night's sleep.  And some moments I hope that he never wants to leave my bed.  I love having this sweet little baby all cuddled in with me.