sleep

How is he sleeping?

I get asked that most days by someone.  It is certainly a topic that encompasses the life of having newborn.  It is almost like asking about the weather.  It seems like the most logical small talk to have with someone with a new baby.

I actually think he is doing pretty well for 7 weeks.  Last night, he did two 2.5 hour sleeps to start off, then woke up about every hour after than to some soothing or pacifier.  I gave up on trying to have these little babies sleep by themselves after Evan.  The few couple months with Evan I would try so hard to get him into a deep sleep and then lay him down and cross my fingers he stayed happy, it didn't work more than it did.  And I was one tired and frustrated mom.  Now with Nicholas, I went into planning on letting him sleep wherever it was that him and I got the most sleep we could.  And that has usually been sleeping on my chest or cradled in my arm, or if he is really ready for a deep sleep lying on his belly.  I have broken many safe sleep rules.  But, I am much happier and less exhausted this time around.  Some nights I wish that he would just sleep calmly in his own so I can have my space and a good night's sleep.  And some moments I hope that he never wants to leave my bed.  I love having this sweet little baby all cuddled in with me.

ISBV

Knowing that the school we chose for Evan would make a difference in his education and life, we had a hard time making the decision.  We checked out many options, and finally decided on ISBV.  This cute little school community with awesome teachers and teaching chinese and an "outside the box" IB curriculum.

We have loved this school!  Evan has too!  Of course, he is to the point that he appreciates a snow day every once in awhile.  But, I can tell that he feels connected to this place.  We were fortunate to have this school to start off his school years.  It has shown that school is safe, happy, fun second home.  He is friends with every child in the building and never has told me that a child was anything but.  This school has created a community of love and kindness, all while providing an excellent education.  But, unfortunately, it was too good to be true.  And that keeping this little community of 55 kids together is not financially possible for the school district.

I'd had a few tears about the closing of ISBV.  Evan has not yet.  But, I worry about the feelings he will have when the time comes to close that door to ISBV on the last day and face the unknown out their in a new school for second grade.  Maybe it won't phase him much, he doesn't quite realize how good he really has it there.  You can only see from a parent's perspective.  The perspective that you want the best for your children, and here it is, in this place.

Three boys

The littlest one, I am still just soaking up the baby snuggles when I can.  Hard to imagine life two weeks before Nicholas entered the world.  He is a sweet one.  And when he is not tired or hungry or riding in his car seat, he is usually a content alert baby.

Colin, our love bug.  I get so many hugs from him.  Big squeeze hugs!  And so many "I love you's".  He is so affectionate for a 3-year-old, or at least different than Evan, who is up for a hug whenever but not the initiator.  Tony has been sleeping on a mattress on their floor since Nicholas was born.  But a few nights ago, Colin asked if I could.  We put them in bed, but I still had to feed Nicholas so told Colin it would be about 5 minutes until I would be in.  When I did go lay down in their room, Colin said "mom thank you for coming in here".  Aww melts my heart to hear this and know that he appreciates us.  After our back and forth "I love you's" we fell asleep.

Evan seems more and more grown up all the time.  Yesterday he completed his first chapter book.  And he has doing second grade math for a few weeks.  Sometimes he seems so big and independent.  We drop him off and he skis 3 days at a week at Hickory.  Which brings me to a story from a few days ago that in the moment made me frustrated but afterward made me realize how little he still really is.  Six!  That's it!  We were about to get in the car so I could drop him off at skiing.  Colin was buckled and I was working on getting Nicholas in his seat and making sure Evan had all his gear, when Evan said "these skis say Walter on them".  Ugh, after a busy day home with a baby and busy 3 year old, I was getting worn out and did not want to deal with going to hickory to solve the ski problem.  Turns out it was an easy fix.  But I know I was short with Evan at first and hurried him into the car so we could solve it.  He told me he was scared and almost had a few tears.  I felt bad for him in that moment and didn't want him to suffer fear over this.  Learning experience for us both.

Precious Nicholas

To put into words the past few days in a challenge.  There is nothing like bringing another child to the world to make you pause... and to think, feel, and reflect on life.

First, the birth story, because I have to start somewhere.  This labor was a little different than the other two.  First, it was a week early.  But also, started differently.  Saturday we were stopping at the toy store to buy a gift for a party Evan was going to that day.  I started getting this intense pain right around my belly button, kinda constant and moving made it worse.  I figured it would go away soon, but it stayed on and off all day and I was having more Braxton hicks contractions.  They weren't too painful and picked up in frequency towards the night.  Overnight, I was awake frequently anticipating these mild contractions to get stronger.  I did make myself try to sleep though knowing I needed to if labor was close.  Well, morning came.  Sunday I was still uncomfortable, more mild contractions.  By the evening, every 30 minutes or so I would have a contraction that was intense, stop what you're doing and breath intense.  I went to bed thinking there was a good chance it was going to happen.  At 11:00pm, those strong contractions picked up regularity and by 1:00 I had woken up Tony, got babysitters over and headed to Munson.  Showed up at 8cm dilated, to my relief.  And spent the next hour or so in the tub coping surprising well I thought.  Hopped out of the tub when it was time to push and with a few minutes of my body uncontrollably giving in, out flew a baby.  I was on my hands and knees, but collapsed and glanced at the little thing to learn he was really a boy like we figured.  Exhaustion and overwhelming relief filled me and took a few moments to focus on him more.  Then I was in love!  I couldn't believe it, number 3!  It didn't seem real that I was the mama to 3 sweet boys.

The big boys are curiously interested in their new brother.  Not overly impressed though.  They go about their day like any other day.  To them it is just a sleeping blob that one day may do something more exciting than poop in a diaper.  Can't wait to see the day they all are off on boy adventures together.

Actually, I can wait...

I want time to pause, or slow down to soak up these moments to the fullest.  Seeing this new little baby makes me excited for the days ahead.  I can't wait to see his personality at age 3 and see if he is as funny and loving as Colin or his ideas at age 7 and see if he is as smart or creative as Evan.  But, for now it makes me tear up a little thinking of him getting any bigger.  I want to keep him this small (or at least the snuggles, baby noises, baby smells, and soft cheeks, and complete joy with this little being that I don't want to put down for 10 minutes).  Even though it's not possible anyways, I don't want him to be a baby forever, because the days ahead I know are exciting too.  But I know I miss these baby cuddles.  Nothing to do about but enjoy it now.  Remember it.  And love each new day and step.  I don't ever wish to see Evan or Colin as babies again, not because I didn't cherish those days either, but because I love the people they are today.  And as much as I want to stop time and shut out the rest of the world at this moment, and just be with my family, we can only sneak in those cuddles and hold on to the memories.

Back to picking up sweet Nicholas for some snuggles.

I'm Evan's brother

Oh, Colin!  How I love your words.  I wish I could every sweet or funny thing you say and record it to listen to later.

The other Evan went to school and Tony, Colin, and I went to Petoskey.  Just for a change of scenery and to have a slow day.  After breakfast and Roast and Toast, Tony and I both decided to make a trip to the bathroom.  Colin became worried that we would leave him alone for a few minutes instead of taking turns.  His comment, " don't leave me by myself, someone might take me, and... and.... I'm Evan's brother."

Sweetness!

happy to be here

On Saturday night we had a sleepover in the basement.  We were celebrating the end of the school year.  And it was fun to have our basement available again after Kris left.  

So we set up a tent for the boys and watched a movie together (Winnie the Pooh, aka "Kissy").  After story time were finally saying our good nights around 9:30.  The boys wanted to sing songs after the lights were out.  How can you not let them sing songs?  So cute.  But the song singing wound Colin up a little and then he wanted to play.  So I had to talk to him about going to sleep… "everyone was tired, it was late, the tent was so cozy…."  But he wasn't in the mood.  He was in the mood for fighting it.  I told him that I would have to put him upstairs in his bed then.  That made him sad.  It made Evan sad too, because Evan didn't want to miss the first fun night of brothers in the tent together.  So I went back to encouraging Colin to just lay down and rest quietly the rest of us could sleep, knowing he would fall asleep at some point too.  But then his fight became that he wanted to go to his bed.  

So I brought him up after some tears.  And stuck him in his bed.  More tears.  "Mama, rock me!"  Usually I can't say no to that.  But it was 10:00 and we had been playing the bedtime fight too long.  I was not in the mood.  "I want Dada to say good night!"  No Colin, Dada is asleep.  Tears.  Eventually it ended.  I think I did rock him a bit and threaten to take away his friends.  But, we sleep upstairs.  Dad and Evan downstairs.  

In the morning, I expected Colin to still be holding on to some of his anger.  But, he was as sweet as usual.  And told me, "Mama, I'm glad you're here.  I'm glad Dada is hear.  The airplane brought you back and I went upstairs and woke you up and you opened your eyes."  He was remembering the reunion after our France trip.  I could do without the fights with a 2-year-old, but I'm glad I'm here too, Colin.  

Evan's first tooth falls out

This kid has been talking about the day he would lose his first tooth for months, or a year.  Especially as kids in his class have been loosing theirs.  Sometimes he would not have anything to tell from his day at school, except a story about someone's loose or missing tooth.  He has been fascinated with it!  And he has had a loose one for about 2 months.  Well, it finally came out today, on a field trip to the Boardman River Nature Center.  He is so proud and excited!  Though, he wants to keep it in its cute little tooth shaped container that Mrs. Rowney had given him.  He did write a note to the tooth fairy and stuck it under his pillow while the tooth stayed away in its special spot.  The note says, "I want to keep my tooth."