Back to work

Three weeks of work already in the books. It was a little hard to go back after being off with Nicholas.  I miss that baby when I am not with him.  But part of me knows that I want to work.  I really like my job and believe the sacrifice (travel time to Muskegon and time away from the family) will be worth it.  Sure, I constantly have thoughts like... Am I doing the right thing?  Will I regret my decisions?  I know these days of sweet little boys won't last forever, and that I will these days.  But I think I will miss the days regardless.  And when they aren't sweet little boys, and are grown up boys, I will be glad to have lived my life too.  To have lived my dreams and created a life that is bigger than being a mom.  I know this is the job I want.  The 3 years between graduating from Frontier and starting my CNM job, felt like something was missing.  I have an amazing life and have always thought of myself as lucky, but it was hard to have a dream that seemed like it wouldn't happen.  Glad to be given this chance.  I can't believe I have these sweet boys and can balance them with a part time midwife job.  Best of both worlds.  Even if I came from home my first all night call shift in tears because of exhaustion, worry, and missing that first night of baby snuggling, and that the drive to Muskegon is a challenge with an infant... I am content here for now.  Thankful.